I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize