Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
