Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
