How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
