The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
