none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
