Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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