they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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