So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
