I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
