I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize