let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize