I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Houston, we have a blender
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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