What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize