Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He passed out mid-signature
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
