dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
