i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
