In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
