are you so shy because you have an std?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
