just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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