we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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