I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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