Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
