M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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