Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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