Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Someone came in the potted fern
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
