dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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