i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
