I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize