I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
