i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
