i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Lo siento on account of my penis...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
