i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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