Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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