shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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