Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
