i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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