can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
