Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
