i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
