I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
