I'm drive I can fine osifer
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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