FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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