Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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