great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
