Walk of Shame. In a state park.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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