Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
