I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
