Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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