ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize