Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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