Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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