Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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