I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
