so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
